“Suddenly I’m on My Knees, Gasping for Air”
Dear Eve 6 Guy,
Back when I was a freshman in high school over a decade ago, I was involved in my youth group, which held an annual ski trip. I was totally jacked because I was looking forward to grinding the slopes, spending some quality time with my first-ever girlfriend, and enjoying being eight hours away from family, in a foreign country. During this time, I was a total nice guy, just a passive do-gooder who didn’t really believe in revenge or getting back at people.
Meanwhile, an upperclassman I’ll call Tristan came on the trip. Tristan and I were on the same football team, but I really didn’t know the guy and mostly stayed away from him because I could tell he was just a little off. Maybe had some unresolved issues.
One of the days on the trip, we went ice skating. The girls and boys split up, so I was doing general hooligan teenage shit with my buddies. On the rink, I spent the first 20 or so minutes just warming up on the ice. In the meantime, my buddies got hold of Tristan’s sunglasses and started playing a game of keepaway. Like I said, general hooligan shit. Then one of my buddies handed the glasses off to me, and I sped off, now suddenly part of the game.
Tristan couldn’t keep up with me, and he went crying, literally, to our chaperones about this ordeal. When I see this happening, I skate to them and hand the glasses over. I recall that we were on the verge of making up when he, still wearing his skates, kicked me right in the fucking dick. Suddenly I’m on my knees, gasping for air. I’m holding my junk in my hands, but because I’m all bundled up I can’t tell if my dick is bleeding or not.
The rest is a bit of a blur. I remember going back to the hotel room, my buddies surrounding me as I pulled my pants down to observe the damage. I had a bruise on the head of my penis. But no blood. I was, for a moment, grateful. I still have a light bruise that I expect to carry all my life, but aside from that, no health problems related to what he did to me.
As far as I know, Tristan never actually suffered any consequences for his behavior. I didn’t consider pressing charges, because we were in a foreign country and I wasn’t familiar with what the rules were — but honestly, I never even asked or looked into it. He moved away about two months later, before I think I even had time to process things.
Time went by, and I tried to forget all about it, but I feel like this incident is unresolved. Tristan is a mutual friend on Facebook, and every time I see his name I seethe. I feel like I should have taken some kind of action to see that something was done to remedy the situation, but I never did. As far as I can remember, he got away with it without even having to apologize to me.
I’ve thought about reaching out to him to let him know my feelings but shy away every time. I’m still not totally over this nice-guy thing, but I am trying to lead a life where I tell people how I am feeling instead of keeping it all bottled up. What would you do, Eve 6 Guy?
—Bruised and Confused
